Dad Punishes Son For Calling Him By His First Name

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mattstaff
Sep 3, 2021 6:00 PM EDT

There are absolutely certain things in this crazy life that warrant punishments, and punishments are necessary for parents to establish a firm stance between right and wrong for their children. Sometimes, though, your teenage children are just going to troll for the sake of it, and you have to take a more nuanced approach — which is exactly what this guy didn't do. This Redditor took to the platform's r/AmITheAsshole to ask whether he was in the wrong for grounding his son, who had started calling the OP by his first name and not referring to him as "Dad."

It kinda sounds like this kid was just downright committed to getting a rise out of his father; judging by the reaction, he succeeded. Other Redditors who judged this father the A in this situation said this father needed to play it cool and simply stop responding unless his son called him "Dad," or have a more honest conversation with his son about the issue than the simple "respect my authority" vs. "I don't want to" argument that inevitably plays out in every parents' household at some point. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for wanting my son to call me 'Dad' instead of my name? Everyone Sucks So, my (38m) son (16m) started addressing me by my first name instead of 'dad' - I'm not okay with it. I had asked him to not call me by my first name and he said he can call me however he wants, and I can't force him to call me dad. My wife (his mom) told me not to get too hung up on this, since it really isn't an issue, I told her that it is an issue, for me - just not an issue for her since son still calls her
    via u/aita-respect
  • 02
    Font - Yesterday, I sat my son down - and asked him to please stop calling by my first name. he refused - and so, I grounded him - took away his electronics and only give him access when he needs it for school - I'm not going to just be disrespected like this in my own home, and told him once he learns some manners will the punishment be lifted. To say the least, he's pretty angry with me and doesn't understand why i'm so hung up on not being called 'dad'. My wife is now staying out of it. but d
    via u/aita-respect
  • 03
    Font - dhumbleguy · 1d INFO. When did he start calling you by your name and was there a particular event that you can remember that might have triggered it? O G Reply t 508 3 aita-respect OP • 1d he started about 2 months ago - and unfortunately, I don't recall a specific incident that would cause him to call me by my name, besides my initial reaction when he first called me by my first name which was "please don't call me by my name" have a feeling he just did it since it gets on my nerves 4 37
    via u/aita-respect
  • 04
    Font - ahhhdamm · 1d When I was 5 I did this to my mum and she said "I'm changing my name" and wouldn't respond to mum or her real name for about 30 minutes until I was in tears asking her what she changed it too and she said "Rumpelstiltskin" Your kid is just doing it to get a rise out of you. Grounding him won't do anything. Change your name to Rumpelstiltskin, because that apparently works. 6 Reply 4 126 3 ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 05
    Rectangle - Crashmse • 1d Partassipant [1] 2 O S 4 Awards ESH. Just don't respond if he doesn't call you dad
    via u/aita-respect
  • 06
    Font - Any-Hospital-9034 · 1d How about sit down with him and explain to him why you want to be called Dad? And please don't say things like "I provide for you and blah blah blah." Talk about what it means to you to be a father. Maybe let him know how you felt when you first found out that you were going to be a father. Be vulnerable. Let him know that your relationship with him is special and unique. G Reply 1 225 3 ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 07
    Font - J3ebrules · 1d Partassipant [4] Eh, it's mild boundary pushing - trying out his tethers, since he's a teenager. The harder you push back, the harder he will fight it - you can't win a battle of wills against a 16 year old without stooping to their level. Maybe start with levity - he calls you First Name, call him Mr. Last Name. When a doorway opens up, that's when it's time to discuss respect and why you prefer to be called Dad. Maybe be vulnerable - that him getting away from that makes
    via u/aita-respect
  • 08
    Font - bittyboo242 · 1d When my fiancé did this to his dad as a teenager, his dad sat him down and said "there's only one person in the world who has the right to call me dad, and I'm the only person you'll ever be able to legitimately call dad." Punishing a teen for a bit of rebellion will lead to more and worse. You are essentially telling your child they aren't allowed to set their own boundaries and are driving a wedge between you. Sitting him down was a good idea, but how did you actually a
    via u/aita-respect
  • 09
    Font - Touchdmytralala · 1d Partassipant [4] You biological son? Edit: OP Confirmed. NTA Sounds like he's doing it on purpose to hurt you. Otherwise there's more to the story than you've told us. G Reply 4 748 aita-respect OP • 1d I do have a feeling that he does do it intentionally to get a rise out of me - since I was not cool with it the first time he did it. 445 3 ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 10
    Font - NTA. It's an act of basic politeness to use the names people prefer, within reason. That applies to people's preference of name shortening, nicknames, correct pronunciation, as well as important identity signifiers (like making an effort not to use deadnames of trans people). It also applies here. That said, you've had some good advice about how to approach your son about this. Just because you're right doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort to understand what's going on in his head, o
    via u/aita-respect
  • 11
    Font - ScubacC • 1d Pooperintendant [57] YTA Not for wanting to be called dad, but you're wrong for grounding him because escalating it was pointless. What you should have done was refuse to answer to anything but Dad. Straight up ignore him when he addresses you by anything but Dad. I bet he'll change his tune when he wants 20 bucks. G Reply 4 216 3 ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 12
    Font - girlinanemptyroom · 1d Have you tried talking to him about it? Is he is having an issue with you? Maybe try sitting down and just listening. Don't get angry if he says something you don't want to hear. Just listen. This could be a good opportunity to teach your son how to communicate, and help him deal with possible anger issues. YTA G Reply + ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 13
    Font - co obsidian_seas • 1d YTA. You chose to escalate this way beyond what it warranted. There's probably a reason your son calls you by your name and your wife "mom". And no, this situation is not comparable to calling a trans person by their dead name. G Reply 4 24 ...
    via u/aita-respect
  • 14
    Font - lukewarm_jello • 1d YTA dude. Punishing him for "not respecting you" when you clearly don't respect him is definitely the main thing. There is no reason to punish him just because you don't like what he calls you. There are SO many worse things to be called than your first name. In fact, punishing him is most definitely not going to help anything- it will foster resentment and anger. You're digging a hole you will eventually not be able to climb out of. G Reply 4 13 3 ...
    via u/aita-respect

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